Karen Winterburn

From: Gary Bogart 

Subject: CRI-ARTICLES : Winterburn Testomony: Ex-Occultist (TEXT)



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Copyright 1994 by the Christian Research Institute.

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"Delivered from Twelve Years of Occult Bondage" (an article from

the Christian Research Newsletter, Volume 3: Number 2, 1990) by

Karen Winterburn.

    The editor of the Christian Research Newsletter is Ron Rhodes.



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    Although my family did not practice any religion, I decided at

age 14 to join the Catholic church. I quickly developed a strong

appetite for the Word of God. In fact, I had such a strong

attraction to the Scriptures that I bought three different

translations of the Bible -- all of which I read regularly.



    But my life soon took a turn for the worse. Following my high

school graduation, I entered a very liberal convent. I immersed

myself in liberal theology, existential philosophy, and the

sociology of religion.



    I no longer read Scripture without being armed with my liberal

"debunking tools," and prayer became less and less personal

communion with God and more of a general meditation -- until even

that disappeared. I had turned my back on the Lord and the

Christian life.



    I left the religious order and for the next four years tried

out Marxism, hedonism, and humanism -- in that order. But none of

them filled the void created in my heart by turning away from the

living God. None of them helped me explain the residual nagging

sense of the presence of God. God refused to leave me, but I

persisted in looking for an alternative explanation for Him. And I

found one (so I thought) -- the occult!



    People I talked to -- non-Christians, Christians, and even

clergy -- called my dabbling in the occult my "spiritual journey"

or "pilgrimage." Everyone seemed to romanticize it. But this

"spiritual journey" didn't turn out to be as purposeful and

exciting as it had first promised to be. I found myself longing to

find my way back to true spiritual reality. The problem, however,

was that I had developed serious doubts about the credibility of

Christianity (an outgrowth of my liberal education).



    So, for twelve long years, I remained deeply entrenched in the

occult. I was a professional astrologer the whole time -- teaching,

doing conferences, and counseling.



    I was also a trance medium for 16 months. I have over one

hundred pages of transcript material from this period -- much of

which was generated (through me) while working with a scientific

team in Chicago: a psychologist, a physician/psychiatrist, a

physicist, and a parapsychologist. This team tested me, hypnotized

me, and worked with the material I produced while in an altered

state of consciousness. I explained and discussed issues in

subatomic physics that were "right on target," according to the

physicist. I clarified problems in the psychologist's research on

brain waves and biofeedback without even knowing he was doing this

research.



    None of this scientific material originated in me. I knew that

very well, but didn't want to believe it, preferring instead the

message I was getting from my inner "source": this knowledge was

being generated by my own "expanding consciousness." I was in touch

with my "higher self," my "God self," my "Christ consciousness" --

and believed this expansion of knowledge and awareness could

continue indefinitely.



    Besides being a trance medium, I worked a lot with different

methods of divination: numerology, psychometry, I Ching, and Tarot

cards. I practiced and taught visualization techniques -- working

from the Western Kabbalah and Eastern yogas, modern inner-healing

therapies, and guided meditations.



    Over the last five years of this twelve-year period, I was

involved in a syncretistic cult: Church Universal and Triumphant

(CUT). This cult integrates several world religions and many

strands of occult tradition. It's an outgrowth of the "I AM"

movement of the 1930s and the Theosophical movement before that.



    CUT presents itself as the religion of the New Age: _ushering

out_ the "Age of Pisces" under the leadership and authority of the

"Ascended Master" Jesus Christ and _ushering in_ the "Age of

Aquarius" under the authority of Saint Germain -- whom CUT leaders

believe to be an even greater Ascended Master. My earlier trance

medium experience had prepared me to accept in detail the message

and gestalt of this bizarre group.



    While involved with this group, I tried defining my

Christianity (with which I was still very uncomfortable) through

"Christian metaphysics": a baptized version of the positive

thinking schools and self-help technologies, and founded squarely

on the philosophy and method of mental sorcery. I thoroughly

absorbed the writings of Emmet Fox during this time.



    Over this twelve-year period, I shut out the Lord and

worshipped every false god I bumped into along the way: Gautama

Buddha, Lord Maitreya, Hindu gods, Greek gods, Roman gods, Egyptian

gods, Chaldean gods, the Cosmic Christ, the Solar Logos, the

Ascended Masters, the Divine Mother, the Nameless Void -- and

finally my "higher self," my "Christ self," and my "God self."



    "Are you the one?" I would ask. They all answered, "yes."



    During this time, it became increasingly clear to me that

spiritual growth was not something I'd been _enhancing,_ but

_preventing._ For three months I forced myself to face this issue.

Over the years I'd had many interesting spiritual experiences, but

there had been _no spiritual growth_ or life. I realized I had been

turning circles and was no closer to the truth now than when I

first started searching for it.



    Having exhausted all these alternatives to Jesus Christ and

coming up so short of the glory of God, I began to panic. I went

through a week of pure hell that seemed like a lifetime. God had

suddenly become so "other" to me. The only thing I began to see

clearly about God that week was that He is utterly _holy_ and

_righteous._ No other god even makes a pretense at being holy and

righteous. At this time, the consciousness of personal sin

reentered my life -- what a nauseating, embarrassing, and defeating

reality! Seeing myself in this honest light was a shattering

experience for me.



    Then I remembered a verse I'd read somewhere in the Bible: "The

LORD is my righteousness." I began to see -- possibly for the first

time -- that the very holiness that must in justice _consume_ me,

can be _imputed_ to me as a gift from God! What an incredible

realization this was. This was utterly against every principle and

tenet of New Age spirituality.



    During this time, a verse I did not even know I had memorized

came to my mind: "There is salvation in no one else, for there is

no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be

saved" (Acts 4:12). I felt a combination of relief and terror at

this memory. How could all my twelve years of occult involvement

have been a spiritual placebo, I wondered?



    Revelation 3:20 surfaced in my mind the same way: "Behold, I

stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the

door, I will come in to him and eat with him and he with Me." Jesus

Christ was alive and well and knocking at my door! And this was

most assuredly not the Ascended Master Jesus Christ. This was the

real live Person! I was now willing to dismantle my altars to false

gods; to put away _The Bhagavad Gita_ and the I Ching.



    "Lord," I asked, "what do you want me to do now?" After asking

this question, I remember opening my Bible to Acts 9:6 where Paul

had fallen to the ground when Jesus appeared in a blinding vision

to him on the road to Damascus: "Now get up and go into the city,

and you will be told what you must do," Jesus said to him. When

Paul arrived at this city, the disciple Ananias helped him. I

applied this verse to my situation, and took it to mean that I

should just put myself "out there" and assistance would be

arranged.



    Little did I know I would soon meet my own "Ananias." I had on

my laundry room table several stacks of graduate school bulletins

and catalogues. During the last year of my spiritual "pilgrimage,"

I had somehow gotten the idea that I'd understand everything a lot

better if I just had a doctorate in theology. So I had sent away

for catalogues from every school of theology within a 50-mile

radius.



    Then I realized I had some preliminaries to settle first, such

as, _which_ theology? Buddhist? Unitarian? Catholic? Church

Universal and Triumphant? One evening I absentmindedly paged

through one of the catalogues: Trinity Evangelical Divinity School.

I immediately noticed the statement of faith. What an odd thing to

put in a school catalogue, I thought to myself. I read it and had

two distinct and warring reactions. One part of me said, "No one

with half a brain could assent to this. Throw this into the

fireplace and forget it!" The other part of me said, "Thank God

someone still believes." I read through the catalogue and it became

increasingly clear to me that the commitment to scholarship was

equaled by a corporate commitment to a life devoted to Jesus Christ

as God and Savior.



    The thought occurred to me that I should talk to someone from

Trinity. "But who?" I asked myself. I decided to scan through the

list of faculty in the catalogue and my finger stopped on the name

of Dr. John Feinberg. I called Dr. Feinberg and told him I had

gotten his name in a round-about way and needed to talk to him

about "church membership."



    When I arrived at Dr. Feinberg's home, I opened two doors: his

as well as the one I had closed on the Lord years ago. He opened

the Scriptures with me and helped me understand myself and my

experience in the light of what they said. He confirmed the

exclusivity of the claim of Christ on my life. He also directed me

to a good church that remains to this day my spiritual home. The

worship, study, and fellowship at this church have been my major

source of growth since my deliverance from occultism.



    My restoration to the Father through trusting in Jesus Christ

has been the most invigorating, eye-opening, and healing event in

my life. I really know what it is to be "bought" with a price, to

have someone else foot the bill for my rebellious and disobedient

squandering. Jesus paid that price.



    I can't praise and thank God enough for what He has done for

me. When you're finally convinced of the hopelessness of your own

efforts -- when you realize that you're as powerless as you are

rebellious -- that your Creator is sovereign and that you, a

creature, can't restore yourself to Him -- and then _He reaches

down_ and digs you out of the heap, scrubs you off, and brings you

home -- I can only respond, "What a Father!"



    In this earthly pilgrimage, we might not be sure of the

terrain, and the environment is definitely hostile. But as

Christians, we know where we've come from, we know where we're

going, we know how we're getting there, and we've got hold of the

hand that is taking us! _Praise God for this wonderful thing He's

done!_



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*Editor's Note:* Karen Winterburn is the director of the Chicago

and Suburban Branch of Mt. Carmel Outreach, P.O. Box 6407,

Evanston, IL 60202.

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